雅思大作文写作方法(2)
Nonetheless, it is pointed out by opponents of food being produced by high technology is a good method say that it can increase quantities and qualities of goods so as to decrease the high price of good, and helps retailers to make more profits and less prime cost. What’s more, much more people can taste more sorts of food with a low price.
To reiterate, though food produced by high technology has some advantages, I feel this method to cultivate food has more major demerits and why I prefer to impede this comportment. (282 words)
得分:6分
这篇文章虽然得了6分,但却是具有7分的潜质的文章。乍一看,文章的词汇和句型都有一定的功底,第一印象感觉是7分档次,但是仔细分析发现在语法上有严重欠缺,如The main reason usually given in favor of high technology using on food bringing negative effects is that the fertilizer。这个句子前半句中using应该改成used,这是非位语动词使用错误,后半句中that引导的应该是个从句,而文章却只写了the fertilizer,属于句子不完整,是严重错误。
按理来说,文章整体的词汇和句型不错,若犯了一些小毛小病,则仍然属于7分的档次,但是这篇文章中由于细小错误和少量严重错误并存,所以降到了6分这个档次。
范例6-4
9
雅思大作文写作方法
【Abby阿布整理】雅思大作文写作方法+常用表达 Abby阿布留留学/315487 ———————————————————————————————————————— More and more people using mobile phone and computer instead of letters. Will letter disappear completely? Agree or disagree? How important is letter writing?
It is demonstrated by a recent survey that the use of mobile phone and computer are dramatically increased. In contrast, the use of written letter is sharply decreased. Some people deem that if the situation deteriorates, letter writing will completely disappear. From my point of view, I partly agree with this argument.
One major reason for this phenomenon is that as the advanced technology develops rapidly, mobile phone and computer play an important part of our daily life. We can make phone calls to our friends (at) any time. In addition, mobile phone is a good method of helping ourselves if we are in emergency. What’ more, computer has widespread repercussion for the whole society. It can do a plenty of things just like storing the majority of information, calculating a complex math problem, and bringing entertainment to our lives. The most important function of the computer is to help people chat more conveniently through the internet.
Another reason used to justify the importance of mobile phone and computer is that they are the witnesses of the development of science and society. As we all know, the faster mobile phone and computer develop the wider human beings make step to improve the society.
It is undoubtedly that the written letter has great repercussion for the whole society. It is a necessary method to continue our history. Calligraphy, one sort of handwriting, is well known for its long-standing history and people all over the world prefer to learn it. What’s more, old people who occupy a large proportion of the world population are unfamiliar with high technology, which make written letter more important for them to communicate with others.
10
雅思大作文写作方法
【Abby阿布整理】雅思大作文写作方法+常用表达 Abby阿布留留学/315487 ———————————————————————————————————————— Weighing up the reasons presented above, I reach the conclusion that the use of written letter will gradually decreased but it will not disappear completely one day. (304 words)
得分:7分
文章结构很清晰,5段式的作文,首段和尾段分别是总起和总结,当中3段为主体段。
文章用了适当的连接词,如what’s more, in addition等,使得句与句之间更有连贯性。 从语言方面来讲,词汇比较突出一点,有一些亮点词汇,如have great repercussion for, deteriorate等,总体感觉词汇有一定的宽度。句型方面尚可,有一定变化,但不多。仍然有一些语法错误,如As we all know, the faster mobile phone and computer develop the wider human beings make step to improve the society以及The most important function of the computer is to help people chat more convenient through the internet. 等,这些错误都很明显,但不影响理解。
范例6-5
Some teachers say students should be organised into group study. Others argue that students should be made to study alone. Discuss the benefits of both and state the more effective method in your opinion.
The debate over whether studying in group is superior to studying alone has long been under question and educational experts are deeply divided over this issue. From an objective perspective, I’m strongly convinced that both methods have their own superiorities. (40 words) (此段第一句对原题的改写并引题,最后一句表达中立的观点。2句话40词,在实际考试中是最适用且能拿考分的第一段写法)
One of the major superiorities of group study is that it provides an environment in which students can exchange ideas with each other. It is well known that knowledge knows no bounds, so it is almost impossible for even an eminent professor at university to have a good command of everything, let alone an ordinary student. In consequence,
11
雅思大作文写作方法
【Abby阿布整理】雅思大作文写作方法+常用表达 Abby阿布留留学/315487 ———————————————————————————————————————— students should be divided into different groups or classes so that they can communicate with, learn from and help each other. (78words)(此段是分析studying in group的第一个优点,第一句是主题句,直接表明观点,随后的都是支持句,进一步分析为什么学生要在一起学习互相交流想法)
Another obvious advantage of studying in group is that students have the opportunity to learn to socialize with others. Many sociologists point out that people in modern society are more …… 此处隐藏:5032字,全部文档内容请下载后查看。喜欢就下载吧 ……
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