part V essay writing(2)

b. Poor pay

c. _____________________________________________________ 6. College is stressful for many people. a. Worry about grades

b. Worry about being accepted

c. _____________________________________________________ 7. My landlord adds to the stress in my life. a. Neglects repairs b. Ignores phone calls

c. ____________________________________________________ 8. Our neighborhood park is an unsafe place to visit. a. Aggressive dogs

b. Broken glass

c. _______________________________________________________ 9. Buying a used car is better than buying a new one. a. Used cars are less likely to be stolen than new cars.

b. Used cars don't lose their value as quickly as most new cars.

c. _______________________________________________________ 10. Many companies use annoying practices to increase sales. a. Junk mail b. Spam e-mail

c. _______________________________________________________

1. The Importance of Specific Details

Just as a thesis must be developed with three supporting points, each supporting point must be developed with specific details. Specific details are valuable in two key ways. First, details excite the reader's interest. They make writing a pleasure to read, for we all enjoy learning particulars about people, places, and things. Second, details serve to explain a writer's points. They give the evidence needed for us to see and understand general ideas.

All too often, the body paragraphs in essays contain only vague generalities, rather than the specific supporting details that are needed to engage and convince a reader. Here is what one of the paragraphs in \Hazards of Moviegoing\would have looked like if the writer had not detailed her supporting evidence vividly:

Some of the other patrons are even more of a problem than the theater

itself. Many people in the theater often show themselves to be inconsiderate. They make noises and create disturbances at their seats. Included are people in every age group, from the young to the old. Some act as if they were at home in their own living room watching the TV set. And people are often messy, so that you're constantly aware of all the food they're eating. People are also always moving around near you, creating a disturbance and interrupting your enjoyment of the movie.

The following box contrasts the vague support in the preceding paragraph with the specific support in the essay.

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Vague Support 1. Many people in the theater show themselves to be inconsiderate. They make noises and create disturbances at their seats. Included are people in every age group, from the young to the old. Some act as if they were at home in their own living room watching the TV set. Specific Support 1. Little kids race up and down the aisles, usually in giggling packs. Teenagers try to impress their friends by talking back to the screen, whistling, and making what they consider to be hilarious noises. Adults act as if they were at home in their own living room and comment loudly on the ages of the stars or why movies aren't as good anymore. 2. And people are often messy, so that you're constantly aware of all the food they're eating. 2. And people of all ages crinkle candy wrappers, stick gum on their seats, and drop popcorn tubs or cups of crushed ice and soda on the floor. 3. They also cough and burp. squirm endlessly in their seats, file out for repeated trips to the rest rooms or concession stand, and elbow you out of the armrest on either side of your seat. 3. People are also always moving around near you, creating a disturbance and interrupting your enjoyment of the movie.

The effective paragraph from the essay provides details that make vividly clear the statement that patrons are a problem in the theater. The writer specifies the exact age groups (little kids, teenagers, and adults) and the offenses of each (giggling, talking and whistling, and loud comments). She specifies the various food excesses (crinkled wrappers, gum on seats, dropped popcorn and soda containers). Finally, she provides concrete details that enable us to see and hear other disturbances (coughs and burps, squirming, constant trips to rest rooms, jostling for elbow room). The ineffective paragraph asks us to guess about these details; the effective paragraph describes the details in a specific and lively way.

In the strong paragraph, then, sharp details capture our interest and enable us to share the writer's experience. They provide pictures that make each of us feel, \also enable us to understand clearly the writer's point that patrons are a problem. Aim to make your own writing equally convincing by providing detailed support.

Exercise:

Write S in front of the two selections below that provide specific evidence to support the opening point. Write X in front of the two selections in which the opening point is followed by vague, general, wordy sentences.

1. The people who have moved in beside us are unpleasant neighbors. They barely say \when we're in our neighboring yards. When we invited them to a neighborhood barbecue, they said they were going to be busy. They sometimes turn loud music on late at night, and we have to close our window to shut out the noise. To top it off, they own a dog, which they let roam free in our street.

2. My mother was a harsh disciplinarian. When I did something wrong, no matter how small,

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she would inflict serious punishment. She had expectations that I was to live up to, and she never changed her attitude. When I did not behave as I should, I was dealt with severely. There were no exceptions as far as my mother was concerned.

3. Some things are worse when they're \ good cheesecake, for one thing, is perfect. It doesn't need pineapple, cherries, blueberries, or whipped cream smeared …… 此处隐藏：11368字，全部文档内容请下载后查看。喜欢就下载吧 ……