高中英语如何写好记叙文(2)

　　【改后稿】

　　Last term, after the exam result was announced, I gained praise from my head teacher in consequence of my progress. I was very surprised because I had never experienced such a great honour before. What's more, she told me good grades required one hundred percent commitment and hoped I could become excellent.

　　For the first time in my life, I felt the power of encouragement. It is my teacher's encouraging words that have aroused my enthusiasm about studying and built up my confidence. From that moment on, I have been sparing no effort to improve myself, which has resulted in me getting along really well with my studies. I believe only in this way can I express my sincere gratitude to her.

　　【实战演练】

　　下面是另一位同学的习作，请根据点评中指出的问题对它进行修改。

　　I still remember a maths lesson where my maths teacher copied a challenging problem on the blackboard and asked the whole class whether there would be one student who knew how to work it out. Several minutes passed but the whole class remained completely silence. However, I had come across the problem in a reference book the other day, so I gathered my courage, walked to the blackboard and worked it out in no time. A surprised expression appeared on my maths teacher's face. He praised me in public, saying that I was an intelligent student. At that moment, I became the focus of the whole class and was filled with great pride and confidence.

　　Since then, maths became one of my favorite subjects, and I have made rapid progress in maths. I appreciate my maths teacher's praise and encouragement very much.

　　【点评】本文完全完成了试题规定的任务，属于一篇高分作文。最明显的问题有两个，一是首句过于繁琐，可以通过简化部分句式来修改;二是有些许语法错误，如completely silence, since then后的句子用了一般过去时。

　　参考答案：

　　I still remember a maths lesson where my maths teacher copied a challenging problem on the blackboard and asked us who knew how to work it out. Several minutes passed but the whole class remained completely silent. However, I had come across the problem in a reference book the other day, so I gathered my courage, walked to the blackboard and worked it out in no time. A surprised expression appeared on my maths teacher's face. He praised me in public, saying that I was an intelligent student. At that moment, I became the focus of the whole class and was filled with great pride and confidence.

　　Since then, maths has become one of my favorite subjects, and I have made rapid progress in maths. I appreciate my maths teacher's praise and encouragement very much.