感恩节特辑 耶鲁校长谈感恩(中英双语)(3)

　　The fact that there has been so little attention paid to gratitude in my field of psychology — the fact that you and I might not pay enough attention to it — could be because the need to express gratitude reminds us that we are not entirely in control; that we might be indebted or dependent; that our destiny is not entirely in our hands; indeed, that on occasion we are vulnerable. As one of my favorite contemporary philosophers of emotion, the late Robert Solomon, liked to say, gratitude is an uncomfortable emotion because it forces us to “recognize that none of us is wholly self-sufficient and without the need of help from others.”[1] Gratitude forces us to reflect on the limits to our sense of agency.

　　Although one’s heart might be filled with gratitude, expressing it may sometimes feel a bit uncomfortable. Even gratitude toward a higher power can make us squirm if it seems over-the-top, as when one of my favorite country music singers thanks the Lord for providing him with a Grammy award, or even when Big Papi dramatically points toward the heavens after blasting a homer over the right-field wall in Fenway Park. (I offer my apologies to any Yankees fans out there for summoning up that image.)

　　And yet, true happiness in life, and true health in society, may not be possible without the capacity to reject the myth of total self-reliance. The good life may be out of reach unless we are able to cultivate an openness to accepting help from others and expressing gratitude for that help.

　　In the course of preparing this address, I was thrilled to discover that none other than Adam Smith, an economist known best for his focus on the importance of self-interest as a motivating force, was one of the first social scientists to point out the importance of gratitude![2] Smith clearly and cogently observed that passions and emotions are what knit a society together. Sentiments like gratitude, Smith argued, make the social world better — more benevolent and more secure. A social psychologist could not have said it better!

　　There is no doubt that when we experience gratitude, it is difficult to feel negative emotions like envy, anger, or hatred at the same time. In fact, people who report that they express a lot of gratitude — people who respond positively to survey items like “I sometimes feel grateful for the smallest things,” and “I am grateful to a wide variety of people” — also tend to score high on psychological measures of what is called subjective well-being, that is, satisfaction with their lives.[3]

　　Why might this be? Well, one human tendency that is incompatible with expressing gratitude is social comparison, especially the insidious tendency to compare ourselves with those who have more than we do. It appears that people who feel gratitude are less likely to envy others, and thus they avoid an emotion that can be quite corrosive. Moreover, grateful people seem far more able to cope with the stresses and strains of life; they are more resilient because they find the good even in difficult circumstances, and other people like them better. What’s more: people are more willing to come to the assistance of others who have expressed gratitude toward them in the past.[4] To quote that great 21st-century philosopher, Justin Timberlake: “What goes around … comes all the way back around.”[5]

　　Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson argues that feelings of gratitude broaden one’s mind — that is, they allow you to consider a wider and more creative array of possibilities, options, and alternative courses of action.[6] This broadening of the mind produces a sense of personal resourcefulness and self-efficacy. Fredrickson contends that these feelings foster a desire to empathize with and help other people, and to consider a wider array of potential ways to be helpful that go far beyond simple reciprocity, or tit-for-tat.

　　The origins of this sort of behavior even can be observed in non-human primates like chimpanzees — when one chimp shares food with another chimp, and the chimp who received the food throws his arms around the food-sharing chimp in a warm hug. Or, when one chimp grooms another chimp and then a day or two later, the recipient of the grooming shares food with the groomer.[7]

　　You probably think I got all this from watching “The Lion King,” but as these examples suggest, gratitude might be a key to social harmony. Indeed, gratitude may strengthen one’s sense of belonging to a community, of obligations to being a good citizen, and of loyalty to the greater good. Perhaps this social reinforcement is why gratitude seems to be observed in various forms across all cultures. Communities in which gratitude is expressed publicly become knitted together through a shared sense of appreciation for everyone’s contributions. Public ceremonies and other displays of gratitude encourage a kind of optimism and a shared sense of purpose. …… 此处隐藏：2866字，全部文档内容请下载后查看。喜欢就下载吧 ……