初二英语笑话(2)

4、Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".

老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".

5、Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were . At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，?醉?字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

6、BigHead

“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”

“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes” “Where's the shopping bag?”

“I haven't got one,use your hat.”

大脑袋

“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。” “别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”

“购物袋在哪？”

“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。”

7、Second language

A mother mouse was out for a stroll （散步，闲逛）with her babies when she spotted（发现） a cat crouched（蹲伏） behind a bush（灌木丛）. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.

Mother mouse barked fiercely（凶猛的）, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.

value（价值） of a second language?"

一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步，突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。

母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪，汪，汪”，猫听了非常害怕，拼命跑走了。

母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”

一般现在时:I make love with her everyday.

有些单词正看、反看都有意思，越看越有意思，越有意思越想看。因为英语单词只能横向变化，没有上下结构，故叫妙趣“横”生。如：

live倒过来就是evil。 可见“生活”不能颠倒，颠倒过来就是“罪恶”——俨如警世通言！

又比如，鼠辈造反（猜一英语单词）。谜底是

star。因为star从后往前读，正好是rats。英语中有不少单词左右有讲，堪称翻然成趣。

evil（罪恶）------ live（生活）；God----- dog； nod（点头）------ don（大学教师）；

not----- ton（吨）；on---- no；pan（平底锅）------- nap（小睡）；part----- trap（陷阱）；pets（宠物）------- step；pots（壶）-----stop；rail（铁轨）------ liar（说谎者）；raw（生的）------ war；smart（机灵的）----- trams（电车）；tap（水龙头）------ pat（轻拍）；ten----- net（网）；tog（衣服）------ got；tops（顶）------- spot（点）。

再者，妙趣横生的含义不少单词似是而

非，千万不要望文生义，而误入陷阱。如：

篇三：初一英语小笑话

Our co-worker went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired."

中文：

我的同事有好几小时不见人了。我们疯了地到处找他。最后老板发现，他正在睡大觉。没叫醒他，老板悄无声息地在我的同事的胸前放了个纸条。“睡觉时”，条上写着，“你是我的员工，醒来你就不是了

1)TOM'S EXCUSE

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?

Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go

Slow".

汤姆的借口

老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？

汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of

matches. When Tommy came back, mother asked him,” Did you buy a good box of matches?”

“Yes, Mum.” Tommy replied,” I have tried them all.”

一盒小火柴

妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”

“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”

)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.

Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing! 开车

父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。

苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。

)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”

“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.

“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”

“She is the one who sells the candy.”

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”

“她是个卖糖果的

Little Brother Got off

Tommy: …… 此处隐藏：3419字，全部文档内容请下载后查看。喜欢就下载吧 ……